Without You
by NKC
Summary: How does life go on when you're forced to kill the one you love for the greater good?Is the future destined to be naught but pain and regret? Only time holds the answers. Tails and Cosmo. Tailsmo. The story of love lost, and one fox's future.
1. One Day Later

Not my usual fanfic. But recently I found myself getting into Sonic X. I've always been a fan of Tails, and this series just brought a depth to his character that I've felt others have lacked. But, moreover, I was taken with the Tails and Cosmo relationship, and the pain and anguish expressed through both of these characters as events spiralled beyond their control.

Then the old cogs started working, and an idea for a story emerged. How would Tails live his life without her? What would the future hold for him?

Well, I invite you to find out. I hope you enjoy.

----

**Without You**

----

**One Day Later**

"_Remember, I'll always be with you. Don't be sad, Tails. Whenever you miss me, just look for me right here beside you... Look to the trees and the sky. That is where I will be."_

The skies were growing dark now, twilight slowly receding over the distant horizon, taking the last of the bright daylight with it. Tiny little speckles of light were just beginning to appear overhead, each one a distant sun burning brightly from afar.

Beneath their gentle glow, sitting in the bitter evening air, a small vulpine creature rested atop a lonely hillside, sitting beneath the night-time shade of a tall oak. His arms clasped his knees to his chest, his gaze averted upwards towards the heavens. Every now and then the breeze would pick up, playing through the leaves, urging them gently into motion and causing the stars to dance between them. It also reached out to touch the soul below, gliding down to ruffle through his fur. It instilled him with a desire to shiver, but he allowed himself to ignore it.

The world around him seemed almost to fade into the background, his mind wandering somewhere above him, lost in the void between the leaves and the stars.

_She_ was up there, somewhere. Waiting, perhaps. Watching over them all, maybe even watching him right now. He couldn't help but wonder...

As the chill wind tried to pester him once more he caught the distant scent of flowers on its ebb. How strongly it spurred his memories of her, his battle against his tears almost lost for a moment as a lone crusading token of his bitterness worked its way down the soft white fur of his cheek.

He paused a moment to wipe his eyes, determined to not let another follow in its wake.

Everything reminded him of her. Every sensation, every scent, every waking moment a bittersweet reminder of what was and what could never come to be.

Only yesterday he'd been with her.

Only yesterday...

What a difference a day makes.

The breeze pressed at him again, urging him back into the present. The leaves still danced. The stars still twinkled. The world still went on.

But he was not at all sure that he could.

She hadn't wanted him to be sad. He knew that. But he'd loved her, more than perhaps even he had realised. What else could he offer her memory now but the mournful regret that after all they'd faced together he had lost her? That it had been his own cruel fate to rob them both of their future?

"Cosmo..." her name whispered, it's very inflection cherished and revered, despite the lump in his throat.

"I miss you, Cosmo." He spoke again, his voice less raspy and a little bit more certain, "I know you told me not to be sad, but I can't help it."

His breath caught in his throat, and it took all of his will to hold back his sobs. He wrapped his arms more tightly around himself as the night air finally forced a genuine shiver from him. But it soon passed into relative stillness again, leaving him alone with his thoughts for another few moments.

But the coldness he felt wasn't just the cruel games of the night air poking and pressing him. It was the overwhelming sense of loss he felt.

"I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I could bring you back. Maybe go back to that moment, figure out another way... Maybe... Maybe..."

Another tear worked its way down his cheek. This time he simply let it be. It trickled down his cheek, tracing its way like an icy fingertip running across his fur and skin. Eventually it found the end of a hair, dropping to the ground and vanishing into the grass.

Closing his eyes, he sighed deeply, "You fell into my life, Cosmo, from the stars. Like an angel. I didn't know it then, but you were going to change me. I felt a better person when I was with you, as if I were somehow whole. Your beautiful smile, your soft laugh, the sound of your gentle voice... It completed me in a way I'll never understand.

"And now you're gone... I'll never see you again..."

For the briefest of moments the breeze seemed to part the branches of the tree, a leafy canopy drawn aside, the starscape above unveiled like a beautiful masterpiece speckled unto some dark canvas. Those particular stars were all too familiar. A new light, formed by the clash of almighty energies as one dark warrior had folded the very fabric of space-time around himself in order to save countless other lives, twinkled and glistened as a permanent reminder of what had nearly been an unparalleled tragedy.

Though to him, little could have made it worse.

"I..." he began, words almost failing him. Almost... "I don't know how to go on without you, Cosmo... I don't know if I can stop being sad, because I feel so empty. I don't know if I can ever stop loving you, Cosmo..."

For the final time the cold, sharp breeze drew itself across that hilltop, dancing in time with fur, leaves and starlight in a near-silent harmony. But the sole occupant of that hilltop, with his solitary perch beneath that grand oak, allowed the event to pass unmarked. Not a single shiver was offered to the cold from that point onwards.

Instead, he allowed himself to lie there, his mind wandering somewhere amongst the stars. From time to time it drifted into the past, recalling warm and bitter memories, drawing them to the surface to be relived one precious moment at a time.

Memories were all he had of her now.

Memories, and his undying love.


	2. One Year Later

**Without You**

----

**One Year Later**

Clouds full of rain and hail hung ominously in the sky, turning late afternoon into something more akin to the darkness just after twilight. Their black underbellies threatened to unleash a tempest at but a moment's notice.

But then, they'd been there all day, circling the sky from horizon to horizon, almost as if searching for just the right spot on which to descend.

They hadn't given way yet. And as Tails climbed up the gentle slope towards the great oak, he hoped silently that they'd at least grant him a little more time. It was a special day today, and there were some things he needed to get off his chest, one way or another.

In his hand he carried a small, pink rose. He held it close to him, as if protecting it from the elements. Though not as frail as it's delicate pink petals seemed to imply, the little flower was important to him. For a rose, it seemed unusually small, as if only half formed before it had chosen to bloom. Or as if somebody had opted to pick it before it reached its full luxurious blossom.

As he neared the tree he felt a gentle gust of wind at his back. It seemed to greet him warmly, as if trying to usher him to the summit that little bit faster. He soon made it to the top, though the breeze reached the oak before he did, flitting through the leaves as it always did, drawing them into their familiar dance. Tails couldn't help but offer a small smile as the tree seemed almost to wave to him.

"Hello Cosmo." He offered a bashful smile, opting to remain standing rather than to sit, "I'm sorry it's been so long since I was last up here with you. I've just... Had a lot of thinking to do."

Lifting the rose to his face, he inhaled with a deep breath, soaking up its sweet scent. He twirled it absently in his fingers, the petals tickling his nose lightly, eliciting a soft, sad smile. When he opened his eyes again he looked up into the limbs of the tree, the leaves still waving down at him, as if beckoning him closer still.

With a nod of understanding he stepped forwards. Letting the petals brush against his lips, Tails placed the softest of kisses on the frail little flower, before laying it down amidst the oak's thick roots.

He simply stood and watched it for a moment, as if expecting something to happen. He knew deep down inside that nothing would, of course. But dreams and hopes are not so easily cast asunder.

At last, he took a deep breath, "Cream gave that to me. She said I should give it to you..."

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, despite the solitary location in which he stood. Uncomfortably, he kicked at the ground lightly with a foot, trying to think of something to say.

"I guess I never was very good at expressing myself..." he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, silence descending once more.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" He broke it in exclaim, hands roaming around his body as if he'd lost something. Tails seemed to find what he was looking for, pulling out a tattered piece of paper from somewhere behind him. With extreme care, treating the crumple as if it were the most precious object in the world, he opened it up and smoothed it out.

Holding it out before him, he looked it over with care, reading back the words he'd written on it earlier that day.

"Cream's mum suggested I write down my thoughts in a letter." He explained, "That way, I'd know exactly what it was I wanted to say to you..." He glanced the note up and down, making sure it was all there. Foolish, he knew. It wasn't like it was going to change. But still he read it over again, just to make doubly sure.

"It took me forever to figure out what I wanted to say to you, Cosmo. I'm not all that great with words..."

When he'd first started writing it he'd drafted out several attempts, numerous fruitless efforts leaving him filled to the brim with frustration. Where exactly do you start when bearing your soul?

In the end, he'd decided to write it like a sort of diary; an update to a friend who was far away, expecting a letter with news from back home. And then, the words had flowed freely.

But now, standing before the oak, clouds heavy with rain circling low overhead, Tails had lost the nerve to actually read it out-loud.

_I'm sorry I'm not a stronger person... _He apologised to his absent friend. There was so much on that note that he wanted her to hear, even if she wasn't really there. But he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud.

So, instead, he folded up the piece of paper and slotted it neatly beneath the rose. The familiar sense of sorrow threatened to overwhelm him as he looked down at the small offering he'd just made her. A simple flower, a few jotted notes on a piece of paper...

The entire contents of his soul.

Blinking away the threatening tears, he rose to his feet, brushing an arm across his eyes to clear his vision, "I promise I'll come back soon, Cosmo." He smiled sadly up into the darkened canopy of the oak, "Eggman himself couldn't keep me away."

Kissing his fingertips, he blew a small token of his emotions up towards the dancing leaves. He paused only a moment to watch the branches sway before turning his back to that place and walking slowly away.

A strong gust of wind billowed down the slope after him, ruffling his fur as he passed out of sight of the lonely old tree..

Atop the hill, the growing wind carefully nudged the precious little rose from its resting place. With the weight lifted, the note was free to open, neatly crafted words facing up towards the sky.

_Dearest Cosmo,_

_It's been a whole year since the day I lost you. I know they say time heals all wounds, but all it seems to do is strip mine bare. Everything I do reminds me of you. If I let my mind wander for a moment, there you are, dancing through my thoughts._

_I know it's been a while since I spoke to you last. It's been hard getting some time to myself lately. At first, everybody was trying to cheer me up. They had parties, celebrations, the full works. All I wanted to do was keep busy. You know me, I love to throw myself into my work at the best of times. Free time just leaves my mind to wander aimlessly through the past._

_I think Cream understands. We had a long talk about it, and she's been great support to me. Her mom's been really kind too. She asked me if I could draw up some blueprints for a little extension to their home. I don't think they really need the added space. They're just trying to keep me busy. But I'm happy to help._

_Cream picked out a nice little pot to plant your seed in. It's really nice, and we take turns in looking after it. It took a few months before anything started to grow, but now it's growing really well. We're not sure what it's going to be yet, exactly. I think it's a tree, but Cream thinks it's some sort of rose._

_She must miss you almost as much as I do. She's always talking about you, remembering the good times we all had. Weeping over the bad times. Sometimes it's hard to think about you and not cry. We both miss you so much._

_I miss you Cosmo. I know I always will._

_I hope you're at peace, wherever you are._

_Always yours,_

_Tails._

As the growing breeze twirled around the base of that great oak, high atop the lonely hillside, the note at last closed tight before the rose fell away entirely, freeing it from its prison. As the first raindrops fell it took to the skies, drawn high towards the clouds.

The rose lay alone now, the raindrops falling upon it's petals as beads, before slowly running down to the ground, tracing out like the sorrowful trail of tears.


	3. Five Years Later

**Without You**

----

**Five Years Later**

The skies were clear this night, the stars putting on a show for anybody who was but willing to glance upwards. The moon hadn't risen yet, and the full glorious river of stars that was the galaxy stretched its way across the sky from one horizon to the other. The idle twinkling of every tiny little speck of light – each a sole voice in a grand choir - was broken only by the occasional shooting star, streaking across the heavens with vibrant intensity before fading away into the background, allowing relative darkness to take hold once more.

Tails let out a contented sight. It was a beautiful night, and that marked the second shooting star he'd seen so far. It wasn't as spectacular as the meteor shower his friends and he had watched those few years ago. But it was still enough to take his breath away.

"It's beautiful out here," he whispered into the wind, "I think you picked a good spot..."

Taking in the scenery was easy from this kind of vantage point. The heavens seemed to stretch outwards endlessly in every direction, broken occasionally only by the flowing canopy of the tree under which he lay. High up on this spot even the tallest of trees in the woodland below were far enough beneath him to be out of the way.

It was as if this tree had picked that spot especially, away from all of its fellows. It was certainly a good place to sit and think. A place of tranquil solitude.

"I've got a message for you from Amy and Sonic." Tails broke the silence, eyes gazing upwards into the darkened limbs, which swayed softly in reply, "They both send their love."

He seemed to consider for a moment, as if mulling over the probabilities, "Speaking of which, d'you know Sonic finally agreed to go out on a date with her? If only to keep her quiet in the long-run." Tails chuckled lightly, musing on the thought as his imagination pictured the pair in a posh restaurant, "Laugh is it's only made things worse."

To his ears the rustling of the leaves above seemed almost to intensify, as if joining him in laughter. His smile only broadened.

"Don't ask me how it went. Neither of them are giving away any of the details. But... And this is a big but," he winked, "I think Sonic's acting differently around her. Nothing majorly different. Just a feeling I get, you know?

"Cream also sends her love." He went on, "She's been meaning to come up here and talk to you herself, but she's been a bit busy as of late, with the plant and all."

Inhaling sharply, Tails sat up, shuffling into a comfortable recline against his arms. He lolled his head back a little bit, keeping his eyes glancing upwards. As the leaves parted and waved in the ever so gentle breeze the occasional star would flit into view in the small voids they left, leaving each tiny dot framed in apparent solitude.

"Oh, don't worry." Tails said with a gentle smile, trying to sound reassuring, "Nothing bad happened to it. It just sorta outgrew its pot.

"You should see it now!" he was starting to sound excited, sitting fully upright now, "It's getting really big." He used his hands to draw out a roughly oval shape in front of himself, about a metre across and almost half as big again in height, "I'm amazed how much it's grown these past couple of years. It's bloomed a couple of times; beautiful little rose buds. We pick a few every time and give one each to your friends. The colour and scent remind me of you..." he trailed off for only a moment.

"We did worry about it for a little while..." Tails confessed earnestly, "About a week after we move it outside it didn't look very pleased with itself." The sorrow in his voice was all too clear. Indeed, at one point they'd thought they may well lose it. The leaves had started turning brown at the tips, curling in on themselves and starting to harden and crumble.

"Luckily for me Cream knew exactly how to save it. She's been taking really good care of it too. I was worried for a while that it'd die, and I'd lose the last thing I have left of you..."

That thought alone didn't really bear thinking about. The little rose bush meant more to him than most of his friends realised. Well, all but one, who understood implicitly.

"Cosmo..." Tails began, deciding to climb to his feet. He took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts. There was a slightly uncomfortable gait to his stance, and he seemed to shift his weight uneasily, "There's something I've been meaning to ask you, but I'm not quite sure where to begin..."

Once again, the leaves in the trees seemed to chatter in response. There were no words to it, of course. It was simply the familiar rustling as the breeze danced amongst them, bringing them to life. But it was enough to give Tails the encouragement he needed to carry on.

"Ever since your death..." the cold memories were kept at bay by his own willpower alone, "Ever since then I've felt completely lost and alone, with nowhere to turn..."

Though not all of his memories continued to hurt, there were some which would always remain raw, open wounds. Precious moments which had spelled out their brief time together. And as much as they brought him pain, they were cherished, equally a part of him as any other aspect of his past. He didn't want to let them go, not for anything.

"One person's been there for me the whole way through. I don't think I'd have coped without her..." his expression had taken on a softer tone – an unusual mixture of affection and confusion, "We've spent a lot of time together these past couple of years." An awful lot of time, if he were honest, "And she's been the only person I've really opened up to about any of this... Besides you, that is."

Once again the toe of one of his shoes was grinding itself bashfully into the soft earth underfoot, "I know you'd want me to be happy, Cosmo. But at the same time I don't want you to think I'm forgetting about you. I don't think I ever could. I love you with all my heart. I always will. But right now, with Cream and me..."

This was getting to be far more difficult than he'd expected. The emotions within him were so conflicted that he didn't know what to make of them. A little part of his mind was saying that he was being silly, asking the permission of a long-deceased soul to carry on living. But an even larger part of him – his heart included – knew that he wouldn't feel right about this if he didn't ask for Cosmo's blessing.

"I guess what I'm asking is..." he whispered into the wind, "Will you let me fall in love with Cream?"

For reasons unknown to Tails the cool night breeze picked up in strength, flitting through the trees and causing the branches to sway with renewed vigour. As he watched with interest, a small patch of sky opened up between them, giving a splendid view of the starscape beyond. A small cluster of bright stars looked down upon him, twinkling in the darkness. As he watched closely the breeze returned, pressing playfully into him for the briefest of moments, ushering him forwards another step towards the oak. And then, in that one little patch of sky, the brightest shooting star of the night flashed before his eyes, illuminating the heavens in a spectacular display before fading away to inevitable nothingness as quickly as it had arrived.

A warm smile worked its way onto Tails' features, a happy, welcomed tear welling up in his eye. He reached for the trunk of the tree, resting his hand gently upon it.

"Thank you, Cosmo." He whispered with deepest sincerity, "Thank you."

Her love had set him free.


	4. Ten Years Later

**Without You**

----

**Ten Years Later**

It was cold out tonight. The grass underfoot was cold and dewy, the chill air threatening to turn it into an all out frost. The skies were filled with heavily laden clouds, threatening to snow at any moment.

Tails had always loved the snow. Sure it was cold, wet and turned to mush after only a day or two. But for as long as it was snowing, beautiful little white flakes fluttering to the ground, it was hard to ignore the magic of it all.

"I know you never really liked the cold, being a plant and all." Tails voiced his thoughts, reclining against the trunk of the tree with his arms behind his head. He had decided that he was going to stay there until the snows fell, and so far it felt like he'd been waiting for hours.

As he'd laid there and watched, looking up through the barren branches of the oak – leaves long since fallen for the winter – he'd observed the clouds as they slowly circled overhead. Once it started – and it would start soon, he was sure – he'd heading off home. Without the shelter of the leafy canopy his only protection against the elements would be his fur.

"But you have to admit, snow is pretty beautiful!"

His eyes offered up a questioning glance to the heavens, _Where is that first snowflake anyway?_

The questioning glance turned into a frown. Would it actually snow, or was the weather simply taunting him?

"You know..." He allowed his train of thought to wander, switching subjects entirely, "I can't believe it's been ten years already..."

His thoughts drifted back to the Metarex, finally destroyed, and everything that had transpired since that moment. A decade of his life summed up in an instance of thought; Cosmo's death; the seed; the seedling; roses; sadness; happiness; Cream; the future. Endless probabilities in contrast with the rigid truth of the past. All blossoming in the blink of an eye.

"I want to thank you, Cosmo." Tails' voice took on a solemn hue, "For letting me be with Cream. I know love has many faces, and I know love is different with everyone. I know that I love her, and I love you. It's the same sort of love, but each one is different."

It was hard to explain it fully. Even setting it out in his mind was proving a challenge. Over the past decade his love of Cosmo had faded none. And yet, at the same time, a whole new love for another had blossomed and grown into a very caring, very close, intimate relationship. Love was the only word that could describe either of these heart-warming sensations, and he felt them both with great intensity. But the _way _in which he felt it for both Cream and Cosmo was entirely different.

"I know there's room in my heard for both of you. And I know that wherever you are, you'll understand, Cosmo. Because you always understood these kinds of things far better than I ever could."

His thoughts now drifted onto Cream, and the feelings inside him made his heart flutter and his soul sing. He knew that it wouldn't be so without Cosmo's blessing. Even from the great beyond, her love for him was letting him live his life.

"Ever since Cream moved in with me I've felt more complete," he went on, smiling at the twitching branches above as the wind began to pick up. He was sure the first snowflake wasn't too far away now.

"I think about you all the time, Cosmo." The orange-white fox confessed, "But when Cream and I are together I just feel..." he searched for the right words, the ones which mattered, "Less lost."

The inner peace she'd helped him create deep within his soul, he knew, would never have been if he'd tried to do it alone. It was strange the way he felt his heart-strings plucked by the thoughts of two separate individuals. Strummed by a master musician, they reverberated in a way which filled his entire soul with the most beautiful music. He knew that Cosmo was at work somewhere in there, guiding him somehow into his future.

It made him smile with true contentment at the thought of her watching over him, guiding him, protecting him. Making sure he made the right decisions.

"So here I am again... Under this old oak with you." The sway of the branches seemed almost rhythmic, following some silent beat brought on by the wind, "About to ask for your blessings once again..."

He was at another crossroads in his life, much as he had been five or even ten years earlier. Each route led off in a different direction. Each route obscured by the uncertain, murky mists of time. He couldn't see the future, any more than anyone could. But he could see which path shone the brightest. He could see which one made the most sense.

"I think I'm going to ask her to marry me..."

The breeze died down completely, the air falling still. The sway of the tree's higher limbs slowed and eventually stopped entirely as a surreal stillness took hold of that place high atop the hill. An unnerving sensation welled up within the pit of Tails' stomach.

"Cosmo...?" he questioned, worried for a moment.

A small flit of motion drew his eyes skywards, and he rose to his feet. From high in the sky, passing carefully through the gaps between twigs and branches, a small, solitary snowflake fell. His eyes locked onto it, mesmerised by it as it swayed and swooped down towards him.

He'd never seen a flake by itself, falling alone, and it seemed to almost be dancing as it twirled and spiralled slowly down towards him.

Tails felt himself compelled to reach out to it, raising a hand out and up towards it. As if seeing his plan, the flake seemed almost too slow, accepting his open invitation and falling the last few centimetres to land gently on his palm. It settled there after a moment or two, and then proceeded to swiftly melt away to nothingness.

Tails simply beheld it for a fraction, and then looked upwards in question. Like some miracle, a million of the lone flake's fellows descended to the ground. And with it came a settling warmth, almost like a wish granted.

Tails felt his heart glow.

He knew it was Cosmo.


	5. Twenty Five Years Later

**Without You**

----

**Twenty-five Years Later**

The sun was hiding just beyond the horizon, the eerie glow of morning already painting the easterly skies in a dazzling array of pastel colours, ranging from deep blues, through aquamarines, all the way to yellow. A light mist hung low to the ground, blurring the dew-covered grass with shadowy blues.

The sky above bore the last few remnants of a star-filled night, each tiny dot waning away into nothingness until only the brightest remained. But now they too were beginning to fade as daylight encroached.

But the air was fresh, the morning new, and as Tails paced the last few steps to the summit he paid them no heed.

As always, a gentle breeze greeted him to the spot, sneaking up behind him and urging him forwards delicately, like the warm embrace of an old friend.

"Hi Cosmo." He smiled broadly as he approached the familiar place, closing the distance and laying a palm flat against the bark. His free hand, which had until then remained behind him, came forwards to reveal a rose. A deep, blushing pink comprised its plentiful blossom, with petals that looked as if they could have been styled from velvet, "I know it's been a while... I seem to say that _every _time I come." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, before bending down and placing the rose between the exposed roots of the tree, as was his tradition, "I hope this makes up for it."

The only response came from the gentle sway of the oak's fresh, green canopy, the motion disturbing the fine droplets which had formed on its leaves the night before. Funnelled with intent, the leaves opted to deposit their drops, making sure to take careful aim at Tails' head. They stopped only once one particularly cold orb had made its way down his neck.

"Alright, alright." He held his arms up in mock surrender, "I'm sorry."

He looked up into the tree's upper reaches, waiting for more droplets to fall. But none came, so he opted to sit down, picking out a soft patch of grass and settling on it. Without warning, a couple of water droplets which had been left behind tumbled from the leaves above. They landed on his forehead with a series of light splashes, beading into a single drop and rolling down onto his nose.

"Geeze, I get the message." He chuckled, shaking the leafy dew free from its perch and guiding it down to the grass, "I won't let it happen again, alright?"

With a stretch and a wide yawn, Tails worked the morning stiffness out of his joints, taking in a deep breath of the fresh morning air. The Sun took the opportunity to peer over the horizon, slowly rising as if checking that night-time was truly over.

"Not exactly the moonrise we shared, eh Cosmo?" his eyes watched the horizon closely whilst the sun was still watery enough to look at. A feeling of comforting nostalgia washed over him, and he found himself sighing.

"Looks like it's going to be a beautiful day." He went on, "I'm sure your rose bush will appreciate it. I tell you, that thing's growing like a weed." His soft laugh was light and airy, fading away into the low ground mist.

"Oh, speaking of growing like a weed..." Tails raised a finger in thought, "You'll never guess the great news? I'm a daddy, Cosmo!" the pride in his voice was unmistakable, the grin smeared across his face only punctuating the fact, "A girl and a boy. One's a fox, the other's a rabbit. We decided to call them Cosmo and Shadow, in honour of fallen friends..."

It was sometimes easy to forget that the one fateful day, those many years ago, had claimed more than one heroic soul. It was a noble way to die, in the defence of those that matter most. And Tails felt it important to cherish their memories. This had been his gift to them; a legacy of sorts.

"You won't believe how fast they grow. Shadow's already tormenting the Chao, and Cosmo's figuring out how to fly. Her mother isn't best pleased, but I'm proud of her, even if I do have to hide it." Thoughts of a vase, a toddler and more than a handful of high places sprung to mind, eliciting a sly grin.

"And whilst we're on the topic of children, I bet you didn't know that Sonic and Amy are talking about starting a family? Not really so much of a shock, given the way things have been going for them." He shifted on the spot, resettling himself in a more comfortable position and crossing his legs, "I mean, Sonic used to say that he didn't want to bring kids into such a dangerous world. But ever since Eggman disappeared last year... Well, he's been a different kinda hog."

Tails' ears twitched. The beautiful sound of birdsong was gradually filling the air as the morning sunshine roused birds of ever sort from their slumber. In an hour or so the entire area would be awash with the orchestral beauty of a forest in full symphony. It was most definitely spring.

"I guess..." Tails rested his head back against the firm trunk of the old oak, closing his eyes and lowering his voice to all but a whisper, "We'll just have to see what life brings our way."

The sun, like the great conductor, welcomed more of nature's marvels into the fold as it rose ever higher into the sky. The mist lifted and evaporated as the cool but pleasant breeze ushered the sounds of all creation towards that high hilltop.

For Tails' part, all he need do was listen. In an hour or so he'd have to head on back, he knew. But not just yet.

Not just yet...


	6. Forty Years Later

**Without You**

----

**Forty Years Later**

For the full four decades that Tails had been frequenting that lonely hilltop not very much had changed about the scene. The old oak itself never seemed to grow or shrink with the passing of time, instead simply enduring, shedding and growing its deep green attire in time with the passing seasons. A few trees in the surrounding woodland had fallen, replaced by a younger generation of new growth. But it was still the same old familiar woodland he'd grown up in.

He, on the other hand, had changed a fair bit. Now in his early fifties, freshly embarking upon his sixth decade, he was very much different to the youth he had been. He knew it well. His fur was growing less vibrant than it had been in the past, and he himself felt more jaded, if only slightly so. But with age also came wisdom and experience. It engendered a contentment with life that had first sprouted when he'd first started seeing Cream, and blossomed fully when his children had been born.

But now, climbing that ever so familiar hill to that isolated haven beneath the tree and the stars, he was beginning to feel his age. He wasn't as fit as he had been, something he felt all too well as he panted closer to the top of the hill. What was the phrase Chuck had used? _It's all down-hill from forty! _Except for the uphill struggles.

Even forty seemed quite youthful now.

It was amazing how easily years could slip away from you, passing in the blink of an eye.

But Tails made it to the spot atop the hill with a little determination. When he'd set off from home it had been late twilight. Now, it was dark but clear. The full moon waltzed slowly across the sky, rapidly approaching its zenith. Stars twinkled all around it, as if singing along to the moon's unbridled procession.

It took him a moment to catch his breath. But only a moment.

"I hope you're here, Cosmo." He spoke into the silent night, "I'd hate to come all this way just to lose my breath."

Reaching out, his fingertips touched the rough bark of the tree, tracing the familiar contours delicately. A familiar gust rose up behind him, passing into the canopy and starting the leaves into motion.

"Sorry," he apologised, looking upwards, "No rose this time. Cream ordered me to let your rose seed this year, so no picking flowers." It was a real shame, in Tails' opinion, because the blossom this year had been exceptionally exquisite, and he'd have liked nothing more than to share it. Cream was adamant that the bush was nearing the end of its natural life, so seeding was the only real way to guarantee its survival. The year before she'd managed to encourage a few seedlings into growth, and in a year or so they'd be ready to be planted out. They had one or two picked out for their own garden, and a few of the others – Amy had _insisted _that she get first pick – had requested one or two for themselves.

It was a shame to break with the tradition, he felt. But it would have been even more of a shame to deny Cosmo her legacy.

"Cream sends her love, by the way." Tails went on, "Everybody does. She's been a little bit off lately, mostly because her mum, Vanilla, was taken ill. We're all worried about her – Vanilla, I mean - because she seems a little reluctant to get back to full strength. But, we're keeping our fingers crossed."

It had been a bout of pneumonia which had set it off. Vanilla had grown quite frail in her old age, and though the illness itself had passed on, she never seemed to be short of chest infections thereafter. Cream, the ever-caring person that she was, had essentially taken on the role of full-time carer for her mum.

"Chris also sends his wishes." Tails carried on, switching topics, "We actually got a message from him the other week. Apparently, our two universes have realigned at long last, and he's planning to try and come through. I bet a lot's changed, on both sides of the void. We're all old now, not to mention the kids.

"Oh, which reminds me. Our eldest, Cosmo, has started seeing Sonic and Amy's eldest, Tacho. Young love, eh?" he offered up a wink, "It all seems very serious."

The two youngsters had, of course, grown up together, sharing in the family friendship of their parents. Best friends had grown into childhood sweethearts, which in turn had blossomed into puppy love, and now into a tenderness even the most emotionally blind person could have recognised as love.

"History repeats itself..." Tails voiced his thoughts with a warm smile, glancing up momentarily to watch the leaves dance in agreement, adding chorus to the spectacular scene all around him.

"Reminding me why I love this spot so much?" he questioned with a knowing chuckle, "I guess I can stay a while."

Picking out his usual spot at the base of the tree, Tails allowed himself to lie back and get comfortable. Reclining here was easy, the tree behind him perfectly aligned to make it quite comfortable. Getting lost in his thoughts would be no mean feat, the tranquillity all around truly astounding.

But his thoughts remained focused, if somewhat relaxed. He was content to keep his mind clear and simply enjoy the night.

As he lay there he allowed the moon to traverse the sky, tracing out its elegant arc. In the wan moonlight, he stayed up to greet the dawn.


	7. Seventy Years Later

**Without You**

----

**Seventy Years Later**

Tails was certain the hill was steeper than he remembered. He was sure he didn't recall it being this uncomfortable at any rate, his joints aching in protest at the strain they were being compelled to endure. His breath came in short, sharp wheezes, and he was forced to stop more than once in order to regain his composure.

When he finally reached the old oak he found he had to sit down.

"Oh, my aching joints..." Tails complained, heaving himself down to the ground with a hefty sigh, taking the time to simply breathe and gather himself.

The deep red sun lingered optimistically just above the horizon, not yet daring to set, casting an amber glow over the entire landscape, turning clouds and sky a fiery multitude of orange, pink and scarlet.

"A fitting end to the day." Tails thought to himself, basking in the last of the evening's heat.

The persimmon glow illuminated his grey and white fur, lending it a vibrancy that he hadn't seen in the best part of four decades. It was a pleasant reminder of the past, as memories floated to the surface of his mind, welcomed and embraced like old friends and loved once.

Between the digits of his right hand he held a beautifully bloomed rose, uncountable different shades of pink decorating it's soft, plush petals in a concatenation which started deep and dark at its core, spreading out to near-white at the very tips. For him, it was the very essence of beauty.

"The most beautiful rose of all time." He offered it upwards towards the skies in faux toast, before taking on a saddened tone, "Most likely the last from your seed, Cosmo. It was the only one to bloom this season."

The once bountiful rose, having grown from that lone seed all those years ago, was now a pale shadow of its former self. Though Cosmo's legacy did live on in the form of dozens of seedling plants passed around to all who had once known her. A gift to the fallen flower girl, from Cream and Tails. A future, almost.

"It's a shame to say goodbye..." he drew the rose up to his nose, taking a moment to inhale the sweet fragrance and admire it, "We've had to say our fond farewells to so many these past few years... Sonic, Knuckles, Rouge... The world seems so empty without them.

"But I guess, when you really sit back and look at it," he went on, thoughtfully, "The next generations carry the torch. Our first great-grandchild is on the way. Amy has more family than she can wave her hammer at." A gentle chuckle escaped him, unrestrained, "And Knuckles' family still protects the Master Emerald..."

A tear welled up in his eyes, clouding his vision. He resisted the temptation to brush it away, simply allowing the droplet to take it's form, "Gods, I miss them, Cosmo. All of them. Especially you. If it wasn't for Cream, I'm not sure I'd have made it this far."

An unusual mixture of love and sorrow filled his heart at that moment, and he let the tears roll down his cheeks and tumble to the ground, each one twinkling as the sun watched it fall to the ground. Each one a dedication to a loved one.

"Tell me I've lived a good life, Cosmo." Tails whispered through the tears, "Tell me that these last seven decades have been worth it without you."

Of course, deep down inside, he knew they had been. He loved Cream, his children, his grandchildren with all of his heart. That would never, ever change. It was a truth he'd relished the company of for a long, long time.

"There've been so many defining moments in my life," he followed through on his train of thought, memories of decades long since past merging into a timeline of events which spanned his entire lifetime, "So many good, fond memories..." his thoughts drifted back to darker times, but only for a moment, "Only one regret."

A deep sigh escaped him, feeling much like his soul trying to cross over to the other side to be with his friends. By now only a sliver of the sun remained above the horizon. Tails felt exhausted throughout his entire being.

"I'm so tired, Cosmo." He admitted, eyes weary, barely registering the shadows of the leaves as the breeze caused them to dance across him, "I think..." his eyes fluttered heavily, "I think I'll just close my eyes for a minute."

The sunlight disappeared from view, his eyelids slowly closing him off from the world. His voice came as barely a whisper.

"Only a minute..."

Without fanfare, the last beam of sunlight departed that solitary hilltop, leaving only twilight and shadow.

And departing with it, a soul longing only for a rose.


	8. Epilogue the First

**Without You**

----

**Epilogue the First**

The welcoming gradient of the familiar grass-covered slope didn't seem quite as steep as Tails remembered, as he strode slowly towards its summit and the vibrant great oak at the top. The leaves of the old tree swayed and flittered in time with the breeze, passing back and forth across the sun, causing brilliant golden rays to dance around amongst the grass below.

In his hand, the familiar softness of the beautiful pink rose remained. As he inspected it - surprised to see it at all – he quickly came to realise that the hand in which he held it was one he hadn't seen in a long, long time. Vibrant orange and white fur decorated it from fingertip to shoulder, in keeping with the rest of his body. He also noticed, with some relish, that his joints no longer ached.

He felt young again, almost as if the last seventy years hadn't actually passed at all.

Casting his attention forwards once more, his eyes fell upon the sheltered veil of shade beneath the old oak, a very familiar silhouette hidden in its enclave.

A sense of uncertainty washed over him, but he pressed on regardless. As he drew closer the figure stepped forwards towards the sunlight in calm silence.

"C-Cosmo...?" Tails asked tentatively.

"Hello Tails," the flower girl replied, a warm and welcoming smile across her lips, "I've been waiting for you."

"But you're..." he hesitated, "Does this mean that I'm...?"

The sweetest of smiles spread across her features, lighting up her sapphire eyes – a smile which he hadn't seen in so many years.

"Yes, Tails." She nodded.

"Oooh..." he allowed himself to absorb the fact, "It was far less painful than I was expecting." Then, like a one-hundred mile per hour train, a thought hit him, "Cream!"

Turning on his heels, he moved to run. But a small hand placed itself delicately upon his shoulder; stopping him in his tracks and making him turn back around.

"It's OK, Tails." Cosmo reassured him, squeezing his shoulder gently as their eyes met.

"Will... Will I ever see her again?"

"Yes," Cosmo nodded, her smile softening into one of sympathy, "You will. Maybe today. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe even yesterday..."

The enigmatic answer did little more than confuse Tails. But he willingly accepted what she said as a reassurance.

"Erm..." he shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other as she removed her hand from his shoulder. Cautiously, he raised his own hand, offering her the precious rose he'd almost forgotten about, "This is for you, Cosmo." He spoke quietly, "It's..."

"From my seed." She finished for him, accepting the flower and nodding in understanding. She lifted it to her nose and savoured it's sweet, unobtrusive scent. Closing her eyes, she lost herself in thought for a moment.

"I've been watching over you, Tails." She spoke, slowly opening her eyes as one of his previous questions hung in her mind, "I've been with you throughout your whole life. It _was _all worth it. _You _mattered."

She placed so much emphasis upon her words that Tails found himself unable to deny it. His uncertainty disintegrated, washed away by the deep sentiment of her words.

"I..." he began, bashful but happy, "I've missed you, Cosmo. I've never stopped loving you."

Her response didn't come with words. With the softness she was blessed with, she pulled Tails into a warm embrace that seemed to last an eternity, both of them sharing a tear of happiness delayed for the best part of a century.

When they finally separated they both wore a smile of affection. But the moment or two of comfortable silence was broken by the graceful whim of Cosmo's voice.

"Come on," she offered her hand to him, "The others are waiting to see you."

She pulled at him lightly, urging him to follow. But he resisted, pulling her back towards him and gently taking her other hand as well, he held both tenderly, running his thumbs in little circles over her palms, not wanting to let go just yet.

"Wait..." he urged.

She looked at him with a questioning look in her eyes.

"There's something I've been meaning to do," he confessed to her, "And I've put it off for way to long – seventy years too long."

And, pulling her close, he kissed her.


	9. Epilogue the Second

**Without You**

----

**Epilogue the Second**

Cream lay silently beneath the stars, the skies clear and beautiful overhead as the long grass swayed all around her like waves on the ocean.

A shooting star passed briefly into view overhead, bright and spectacular for an instant, before fading away as quickly as it had appeared.

She wore a sad, knowing smile.

"Farewell Tails, my love." She whispered to the wind.

Cream closed her eyes and dreamed of days to come.


	10. Author's Note

**Without You**

----

**Author's Note**

First off, I want to thank you all for reading. Eqgz, TailsLovesCosmo and Ghostkid33 especially for their fantastic reviews.

I hope that this story struck a chord with you all, because it held a certain degree of emotion for me. I hadn't watched Sonic for a very long time, but a game on Newgrounds piqued my interests in the franchise once again. One thing led to another and I found myself watching Sonic X on Youtube. And, like all of you Tailsmo fans out there, I found the storyline to season three completely enthralling.

The ending to the series was sad yet amazing. It revealed a depth to Tails' character which really made me empathise with him in a way that is unusual for me and somebody else's character. I found myself searching out Tailsmo fanfiction, and then – inevitably – I stumbled upon the original Japanese dub of the ending to season three (Cosmo's death).

I urge you all to go to Youtube and watch the video watch?v=KR5xgbIDd6o

I found myself with a lump in my throat, and I felt I had to make my contribution. The emotions of that video were what I was striving for in this fic, and I hope that in your eyes I managed to pull it off.

I hope I did justice to the characters of Tails and Cosmo, and the relationship they developed. I hope that I captured the emotion of their situation – the love, the companionship, the bittersweet sorrow...

But most of all, I hope you enjoyed reading.

I thank you for your time. I'm most grateful.

All the best,

NKC.


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